Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Keeping My Focus

Sometimes it is very hard for me to keep my focus. I have a lot of very different projects that I am involved in and sometimes they all crowd together and make things messy in my head. And suddenly, I discover I have taken on one thing too many.

It is a delicate balance that I run from day-to-day. I run two choirs, work almost full-time (and my hours just increased) and attempt to raise two teenagers. Just the addition of a couple of extra things to do at work and a few more hours on the job have thrown me for a loop this past two weeks. I feel like I am forgetting everything and nothing is getting done, but I am constantly in motion. At that point, I need to take one task and make it work its way out to the very end. I have to accomplish something.

The other night I lay awake in my bed for hours on end. I couldn't sleep no matter how many things I counted (blessings, as well as sheep). My thoughts kept drifting to the things I hadn't gotten done at work last week. And the calls I hadn't yet made for the choir at the church. And the Liturgy Plan I hadn't developed yet. And the concert plan I hadn't developed for the Kinderchor...it just went on and on. Finally the alarm clock went off and I realized I hadn't slept at all. I needed to pick something to and finish it to break the cycle.

Today, I made a concerted effort to focus on my desk. The piles of paper were taking over. I can actually see the top of my desk now, which is a big step. As I sat here clearing things, filing things, and entering data into my database, I started thinking about the roller-coaster I have been on this past couple of weeks. I realized that I have actually accomplished a lot, even though some things have fallen through the cracks. I started making a list of things that needed to be attended to and I have those things in hand, now, too. I feel vaguely better about the past two weeks and I feel more hopeful about the next couple of weeks, too.

Maybe tonight, when I lay down to go to sleep, I'll think about the things I did get done and the jobs I have accomplished and be happy that I kept my focus for just today. And, tomorrow, I'll do it again.

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