Thursday, October 23, 2008
On making mistakes
Mistakes happen. It is a fact of life. And when I make them, I own them. I try to make amends and ask for forgiveness. Recently, I have found myself asking for a lot of forgiveness.
I seem to be making a lot of mistakes recently (dropping the ball on things, mis-communicating with people, etc...) and I wonder if it is because I am not being focused or if I am just too busy.
As I said in a previous post, my job has recently "diversified". That's just a euphemism for "I have more things to do". I love learning new things. But, in the process, some things get lost or dropped or forgotten. Usually, that means that I am over-committed.
It is disturbing to me that someone, somewhere will be disappointed in me. I can't stand for people to be disappointed in me. It isn't that I always want to please everyone: I am certainly not a people-pleaser. I am far too opinionated for that. Maybe it's more that I want to impress everyone. I want to be the best at everything that I do. And, of course, I can't be perfect so the idea of being the best at whatever I do is a ridiculous one, to say the least.
I used to dance and take gymnastics as a child and one of my teachers told me that if I didn't make mistakes, I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't pushing myself enough to get better. I wonder if that's so of everything, not just physical disciplines.
Maybe my mistakes are just a part of growing and becoming better and stronger. I hope so.