Sunday, February 8, 2009


I simply have to say it:
I have decided that men NEVER say, "I'm sorry."
(My husband is a very notable exception.)

They say things like, "I'm sorry you feel that way," or "I'm sorry if I upset you," (this one is usually trotted out because there are tears and they want you to stop crying). But, men never just say, "I'm sorry."

Sometimes, if a man is feeling exceptionally bad about something he said, he will compliment you in the presence of others. It's always a heart-felt compliment and it's a dead give-away. That's just how he says, "I'm sorry." But why not just SAY it? I just don't understand it!

Then, there are the men who resort to my personal favorite; they act like nothing happened. This is especially popular with men who want you to accept the blame for the incident, even if it is totally their fault. Once they figure out that they were wrong and you are not going to take the blame, they just want to sweep the whole thing under the rug.

I must confess that I am inclined to allow them to do this, because I know by the time we get to that point, they're sorry. I am not sure why I let them get away with it. Part of it is the act of forgiveness. Part of it is just wishing to get on with my life. I guess I just allow them to save whatever is left of their dignity after they realize that they were in the wrong, and then hope that they give me the same courtesy later.

Of course, they never have to apologize to me, because I am always apologizing to them. In fact, one of my new year's resolutions was to stand up for myself, to stop apologizing for everything under the sun and only apologize when it was really my fault and there was something I could have done (or not done) to have averted the situation.

It's not that I won't accept blame for the things I do wrong. I am not opposed to accepting blame when it is justified. This is simply a matter of meaning what I say. In apologizing for everything, I have, perhaps, become somewhat insincere.

Maybe that's what men fear, being considered insincere. But, it sure would be nice to hear those two little words every now and then...

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